I am so lost

gee~~~ i am so lost recently, i lost my handphone pouch, i lost my vitamin C, i even lost my haydn piano score!!!! how can i lose that? i still need it, i need to practise for the masterclass, and now, I LOST IT!!!!!

i use another version of the score for piano lesson this morning, so not used to that score, so kena scolding from teacher, she thought that i never practise, but true also la, i really never touch the piano for 3 days. I even lost myself in this, i don't know how to play piano with heart anymore, my pieces left black and white only, no colours at all, no expressions, no feelings, sigh sigh... how?? someone help me, i used to be so proud of my expressiveness in music, and now, i lost all of them.

i cried just now, while listening to beethoven violin sonata, spring. i don't know why all of the sudden, while driving, i just cried. looked at the sky, it's dark, gonna rain soon, just like my heart now...

i don't know who to go to, i usually am the one that comfort others, i don't know who can understand me. gee... help me!! i am drowning.

你有没有那么迷失过。不只是心灵上的，就是开始找东西，好像身边的东西都躲着我似的，也不一定什么都真的不见了，有时候还是会找回来的，但是我的音乐好像真的找不回，不管我怎么练，它就只是一棵一棵的音符，一点生命力都没有。也不美，也不丑，但就是平凡。怎么都突破不了，怎么办，多一个星期又是class hour 了，然后月尾就是masterclass，我会有突破吗？

每次有这种感觉的时候，都会来个大扫除，希望把一些多余，没用的东西都丢掉，这次好像没有什么帮助，而且更严重了。什么东西都找不到。救命！！！！

7.30am 蓝色的飞机场

今天早上，飞机场是蓝色的。因为，我亲爱的老公被公司派去澳洲公干两个多月，70天的日子，我会好好的过吗？唉~~~

现在他在30000英尺的高空有想念我吗？还是忙着和漂亮的空姐聊天。。。 唉~~~

澳洲寒冷的天气他会习惯吗？不会病倒吧，会自己照顾自己吧。。。 唉~~~

蓝色的飞机场怎么变得水汪汪了？唉~~~

期待粉红色的飞机场，在70天后出现。。。

可爱的大师

我见到他了，认识他了。。。 他是王立达，一位我想认识很久很久的人，大师级的演奏家及钢琴老师。

当候老师告诉我他的种种，我就对这位大师起了很大的兴趣。希望认识他，让他在我的心中不再神秘。终于，昨天晚上，我认识他了，和候老师一起到他的家去吃晚饭。撇开一桌子的好菜不说（都是他亲手烹饪的，不敢相信吧！）他的性格真的深深的吸引着我，多么开朗的个性，多么幽默的一个人，太妙了，吃完饭，要离开的时候，是多么的不舍，踏出他的家门，门关上的那一刻，就已经想念他了，想念和他一起的时光。

我想，现在已经认识了，如果我坚持的话，以后还有很多机会向他学习。所以我一定要坚持走下去，我这条钢琴的路。

自然生态 vs. 专家

数以万计的蟾蜍，上演了一部‘大搬迁’，这个画面也许会让你感到不舒服，但是，这的确发生在四川大地震前的一个礼拜左右。

这奇特的景象，也确实让一些村民感到惶恐和不安。认为这可能是一次大灾害的预兆。

然而，请教专家的结果却是：‘这哪是什么灾害的预兆，这可是一种自然现象，因为这里的土质与水的温度非常适合蟾蜍的繁殖，所以它们才“举家搬迁”到这儿来。’

一个星期之后，四川发生大地震，这是巧合，还是自然生态给的预兆，有待思考。

my baba & mama... visiting

Masterclass

Gosh, i am going to Ong Lip Tat's masterclass in June, i really cannot believe this, can i survive thru 3 class hours and eventually attending the masterclass? I need to memorise the piece, gosh, my worse ability. My memory sucks~~~

But according to teacher, this is once in the life time golden opportunity, do i affort to let it just slip thru my fingers? I think i will regret for my whole life if i reject the offer, oh man, i am kinda excited, and nervous from my hair to the bottom of my feet, jia lat, i already don't know what i am talking about, i wanted to go!!!!!! but am i good enough? i am scared that mr ong will just stop my performance and chase me out from the hall, sigh, will that nitemare happen to me? or maybe i will be his fav pupil, hahahahaha, dreaming!!! not because i play very well, but because of my 无厘头-ness... haha, teacher once mention, we are so alike, she said i talk like mr. ong.

oh mama, i need to work harder, i need to memorise the piece man, ok, dictation starts tomorrow morning 7am. (only if i can wake up so early) as u know, it's already 1.48am, i don't think i can wake up at 7am haha, ok, maybe after my 10am student.